Godly rebuke

"Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy."  Prv 27:6

"It is better for a man to hear the rebuke of the wise than to hear the song of fools."  Ecc 7:5 

"Let a righteous man strike me—it is a kindness; let him rebuke me—it is oil for my head; let my head not refuse it."  Ps 141:5

Why is it that we have lost the fine art of the godly rebuke?  Perhaps its because we are so mired in our pride and self-centeredness that we either don't have any confidence that our rebuke is biblically true or we are unwilling and unable to graciously receive the rebuke that is given. And, as I reflect on it, this is like any relational issue that has gone a distance down the road, most actions serve to further the problem rather than to fix or repair it.

So, where do we start to turn the corner? As it is with so many things in our walk with Christ. we must start with prayer.  Prayer that we can both give and receive godly rebukes.  On the receiving side, we need to pray that we hear the Spirit through the rebuke.  Some (maybe most) of the rebuke might be way off target. But we must be alert, prayerfully alert to any element that resonates with Scripture and Christ's call on our lives.  On the giving side we must always keep Matt 7:5, Eph 4:29 and Phil 4:8 in mind. My personal, selfish, sinful preferences and opinions can easily seep into what I am trying to communicate to a brother or a sister. This, in turn, either renders the rebuke ineffective or it keeps me offering it in the first place. So, we must pray; pray for right hearts and submissive spirits.

But, I think there is a second part to this puzzle. It is distinct and subsidiary to prayer, but yet it is tied to it. It is cultivating a heart attitude that is desirous of rebuke. Even as I write that, I know it sounds foreign and almost sacrilegious. Yet, if we pause for a moment and consider how God actually brings growth in our life, isn't usually through some form of correction? And if God's correction leads to our growth in Christ-likeness, shouldn't we be expecting it or even seeking it? And if God's correction can be mediated through our brothers or sisters via a rebuke then ...

Here's the bottom-line, at least for me.  I want to be attentive to the Spirit-directed rebukes of those who love and care for me in Christ. And I want to love others within the church of Christ enough to lovingly rebuke them when the Spirit prompts me to do so.

To God Alone be the Glory