This may seem like a pointless question, but I'm going to ask it anyway. Have you ever felt like you were just going through the motions? Do you know what I mean? Just a robot or computer simply doing the task you were assigned, and nothing more.
Well, whether you've ever felt this way or not, that is the state I found myself in this morning as I approached my routine morning prayer time. Usually this prayer time is not dramatic, focusing God's wisdom for Bible reading, teaching or the like. Sometimes it will expand to cover other things that are pressing, but most of the time the prayers are meant to get my heart and mind in tune with God and his Word.
This morning, however, when I sat down to pray there was nothing. No thoughts of what to seek from God. No words of praise to God. Not even a "hey I can't do this without you, God" type prayer.
My "blank slate" moment was followed by a sickening realization that I can so easily simply go through the motions. Prayer time? Check. Bible reading? Check. Devotional reading? Check. Sunday morning worship? Check? Home group study? Check. And on it goes? But when there really is a "blank slate" moment, dare I proceed? What good is it for me (or anyone I may minister to) if I move forward when God, by his grace, has given me a "blank slate"?
Thankfully, graciously, mercifully, God, by the Spirit, has actually been preparing me for this moment. As others have said, the kindling was being piled up long before today. So, it was as the "blank slate" moment exposed the veritable ease with which I can simply move into other activities like a car on an assembly line, that I began to pray. This was not a "hey I can't do this without you" prayer. Nor was it me seeking God's wisdom to understand and apply his Word to my life and the lives of those around me. Both of these are good and appropriate prayers, but today those prayers wouldn't flow.
Instead the prayer was something to this effect: "Father, I know you are good, even when I can't really grasp it. I know your love is not conditioned on my loving response. I know that even in my "blank slate" moments and in times of empty robotic spiritual rituals, your grace and mercy are alive and active and real and unchanging and unending. Would you take this "blank slate" and use it for your glory. I don't get it. I don't like it. I don't want it. But I know you ordain things just like this to demonstrate all the more that the treasure we have been given in Jesus has nothing to do with us and everything to do with you. Thank you God for my "blank slate" moment. In Jesus' name, Amen."
I share this, not as a boast (except maybe in Christ), but rather as an encouragement to any who may also encounter dry times of prayer, Bible study, or hearing from God. We must always, always, always remember that God is our good, good Father. And even though the path he has us on may not be straight or easy, it is the right path that will eventually lead us to him. May God help us to believe this and trust this, and live this each day of our lives.
To God alone be the glory.
